Developing confidence has to start with establishing credibility with yourself.
It is based on how congruent your thoughts and your actions are.
How often have you promised yourself something just to break that promise?
Your subconscious and body learn not to take your statements seriously if you never follow through with actual actions.
When times get tough, always taking the easy way out will develop a kernel of disbelief within you saying that you can’t actually achieve or be good at something.
And the worst thing is, it’s your fault.
Nobody is to blame for your lack of confidence, it was you who made the promise, it was you who failed to keep it.
Take responsibility and follow through.
Set a goal, make the plan, break it down into actions steps, create momentum by committing to one step a day. Integrate wins into your identity, be proud, however big or small they are.
Be nuanced in your approach, off course.
Going through the steps develop a clear mental picture of what you can and can’t do, what needs work and what doesn’t and what needs to happen next.
Be honest with yourself, this might reveal that you have to go back and, what feels like, start from scratch.
Abandon the idea of shortcuts, there aren’t any.
This honest work ethic you have now developed will enable you to better handle the critics.
Standing on stage with the utmost belief in yourself. Maybe you are not “perfect” at this moment but if you know you put in honest, painstaking work, nothing a critic will say can affect your confidence.
Your Confidence is now tied to your work ethic, the belief in the clarity of your plan, and that you will figure it out.
Something a critic says can either confirm something you already know, or it’s utter bullshit. But you won’t know the difference if you don’t know where you are in your process.
Know that there is no destination - if you really want, you become incrementally better over time and you should enjoy the ride.
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